If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
