If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
