It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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