1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
