# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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