Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Randomize
