I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize
