Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
