doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
