HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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