I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
