problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
