My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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