I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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