U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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