Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
