When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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