AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You have to summon your inner elephant
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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