A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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