oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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