do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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