maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
