I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
