it hurts more in the daytime
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I'm always down for nudity.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
