Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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