fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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