Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Randomize
