Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
