I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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