We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
she smelled like a LAN party
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
