I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
