Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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