How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
