question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
