I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
