that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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