Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
