My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
