I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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