I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
