i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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