The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
