is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
then he tried to convert me to islam
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
