I must be too annoying 4 u.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
