"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
