I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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