I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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