I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Randomize
