I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
