how hairy? two words: wookie tits
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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