My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
