I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
